Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize