Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
