I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
