im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
