I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
