I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
