Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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