I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize