holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
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One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
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i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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