Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
