dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
