I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
