yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
