I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
