I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
