I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
