The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
