Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
