then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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