You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
