I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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