I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
