we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What a dumb baby whore.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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