Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
