dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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