Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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