Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
