Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think your dad took our porno
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
