I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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