just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
