Texts From Last Night

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  (915): View more from Texas

  dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop

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  (915): dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop http://tfl.nu/1szd
  Replies (22) Good night (1265) Bad night (4381)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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  (412): I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds http://tfl.nu/2vvx
  Replies (32) Good night (1723) Bad night (15674)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?

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  (931): is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl? http://tfl.nu/m6rn
  Replies (20) Good night (1342) Bad night (6244)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You said your dick dragged you up the stairs

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  (207): You said your dick dragged you up the stairs http://tfl.nu/g6yn
  Replies (3) Good night (3365) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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  (541): When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside. http://tfl.nu/wpt8
  Replies (11) Good night (3050) Bad night (1810)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

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  (716): I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers http://tfl.nu/1krf
  Replies (12) Good night (4021) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.

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  (714): I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash. http://tfl.nu/gnlc
  Replies (7) Good night (720) Bad night (2692)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

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  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (3231) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.

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  (201): You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME. http://tfl.nu/tcyr
  Replies (15) Good night (4911) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands

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  (360): you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands http://tfl.nu/td11
  Replies (5) Good night (1599) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  That would warm my breasts.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.

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  (770): That would warm my breasts. (770): In this context breast is a metaphor for soul. http://tfl.nu/yhcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1242) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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  (509): Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet? http://tfl.nu/3lpx
  Replies (4) Good night (532) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.

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  (780): I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong. http://tfl.nu/brwn
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day

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  (847): We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day http://tfl.nu/szgm
  Replies (4) Good night (549) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are

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  (717): strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are http://tfl.nu/muz3
  Replies (1) Good night (251) Bad night (368)

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