Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

(248): View more from Michigan

Perfect. Like where your heads at

(906): View more from Michigan

By relax I mean have sex

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(906): Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow (248): Perfect. Like where your heads at (906) By relax I mean have sex http://tfl.nu/crtd

Replies (2) Good night (2321) Bad night (743)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l

Replies (28) Good night (1164) Bad night (3920)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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(304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu

Replies (36) Good night (4158) Bad night (737)
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(904): View more from Florida

The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.

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(904): The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him. http://tfl.nu/fka6

Replies (12) Good night (6498) Bad night (1552)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(270): Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad. (1-270): You should've just screamed yes we can! http://tfl.nu/ng19

Replies (52) Good night (9072) Bad night (1624)
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(512): View more from Texas

Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...

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(512): Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation... http://tfl.nu/vkji

Replies (3) Good night (2428) Bad night (1469)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

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(919): I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us http://tfl.nu/0tdj

Replies (2) Good night (1188) Bad night (1310)
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(206): View more from Washington

he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents

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(206): he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents http://tfl.nu/f104

Replies (48) Good night (1188) Bad night (3268)
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(210): View more from Texas

He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned

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(210): He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned http://tfl.nu/rsut

Replies (13) Good night (1777) Bad night (770)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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(203): Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic. http://tfl.nu/uabe

Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (628)
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(310): View more from California

So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.

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(310): So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned. http://tfl.nu/t3gi

Replies (0) Good night (782) Bad night (325)
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(727): View more from Florida

He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.

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(727): He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again. http://tfl.nu/phzx

Replies (8) Good night (1197) Bad night (232)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.

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(201): Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off. http://tfl.nu/s8w5

Replies (10) Good night (288) Bad night (1038)
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(205): View more from Alabama

You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.

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(205): You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy. http://tfl.nu/nc3s

Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (392)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.

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(847): I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text. http://tfl.nu/zkwg

Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (244)

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