Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures

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  (818): you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures http://tfl.nu/qd8i
  Replies (14) Good night (3722) Bad night (552)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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  (440): By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas http://tfl.nu/5ruz
  Replies (46) Good night (4834) Bad night (1340)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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  (734): going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season. http://tfl.nu/7bt6
  Replies (12) Good night (3353) Bad night (781)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."

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  (832): I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant." http://tfl.nu/1fxo
  Replies (8) Good night (5681) Bad night (955)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo

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  (208): The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo http://tfl.nu/5szi
  Replies (8) Good night (3467) Bad night (608)
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  (949): View more from California

  I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

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  (949): I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer. http://tfl.nu/vxsa
  Replies (4) Good night (668) Bad night (996)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I hope you did not try this.

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  (404): When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face. (706): I hope you did not try this. http://tfl.nu/9l4w
  Replies (10) Good night (1569) Bad night (1066)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week

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  (724): I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week http://tfl.nu/5fel
  Replies (15) Good night (2006) Bad night (451)
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  (455): View more from

  As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."

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  (455): As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time." http://tfl.nu/cmn4
  Replies (10) Good night (571) Bad night (2152)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.

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  (512): Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL. http://tfl.nu/149w
  Replies (12) Good night (683) Bad night (2142)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies

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  (504): I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies http://tfl.nu/3ufe
  Replies (6) Good night (287) Bad night (618)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!

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  (309): Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!! http://tfl.nu/ykbd
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (218)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate

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  (610): our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate http://tfl.nu/08mc
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (222)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.

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  (902): I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza. http://tfl.nu/8hbb
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (383)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Can't it be both?

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  (317): is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak' (1-317): Can't it be both? http://tfl.nu/ys3h
  Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (645)

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