talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
