i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.