shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
