When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize