But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
