He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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