im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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