I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
