you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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