i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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