he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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