It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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