I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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