shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize