I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize