There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
