im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
