i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
