Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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