I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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