Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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