turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
