dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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