i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
