I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
