just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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