And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
