Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
