so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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