One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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