I feel like abortions should bother me more
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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