Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
