Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
