meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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