Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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