I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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