we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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