Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize