sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
they need to just BURY HIM!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
