he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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