She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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