so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
