You really coming over, don't trick.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
